Time swept so fast I can't even imagine I am spending my 22 years,5 months and 15 days living in this chaotic world. In 22 years I can count using my fingers how long I stayed with my family. I never stayed at home for long, I grow up living life with other peoples house which became my own home. Too sad to admit but as they say "truth really hurts" and yes it is. I grow up with the love and care of my aunt(I call her "mama" even it hesitate me to called her that way). But life is always unfair,it will never be fair anyway because she past away when I was 12 years old. That's one of the toughest days of my life, letting go of someone whom you really loved and cared for. Life must move on and it's not easy, since then my growing up years is miserable and being change by just a single truth "she's not with us anymore". Days become harder and harder, but I ended my elementary with honors but I don't have her to offer all my achievements, but my biological mom was their supporting me in anyway that she can. Here comes high school, again finish with flying colors and with all the praises coming from different people but I never got the chance to thank her for everything she brought into my life. I just wanted her to know she was the best aunt I got in this entire galaxy. College years seems so hard, I push my self to limit working for my school expenses-thanks for my scholarship that pays my college tuition fee. So at last I finish again with pride and glory. In every prices I received I kept looking for her, I just really want to say "thank you for everything". But everything is an illusion of her, everything is a dream, everything is a wish. At some point when my heart feels heavy and down,I know she cared. I can always feel her touch, her kiss every now and then. Let me say thank you for giving me the hugs last night that made me sleep even it's too hard for me to do so-i know your there every time I find my self with a weary heart. Ma, I can always feel you are around, you are in my friends loving voice, you are in nephews powerful hug, you are in my myles loving kiss, your smile is living in mama gigil's face, your authoritative look lives with papas face, and your love lives within me. Now I realized life was never been that lonely, your love is in every person I cared about, I was to weak to appreciate things and too young to accept your lonely goodbye,but you never leaved me, YOU LIVED IN ME. Again I just want to say THANKS for making me who I am, and I want you to know I celebrate my birthday with a happy heart, I can't recall how long a celebrated my birthday with secluded heart. Anyway I always sang your song,this line makes me cry " Learning to love yourself, it is the greatest love of all" but don't worry little by little I am trying to love a little bit of me. This will never be my goodbye because I can't utter this word, but this is a new battle but with a courageous heart of a young women who will never give up life until earth put an end to it. I love you so much and I will never miss you since now coz I know your just around (winks). See you when it's our time to meet again.
