When you told me... I love you more...

We are getting used with our routine this time. He will make sure he is online in his CP as much as possible and ako naman super hanap nang way maka online lang sa office (sa bahay naman online ako parati). I already accepted him and welcome loved for both of us. Our relationship is getting stronger as we are counting the days he'll come back home. We are too at ease to talk about anything and everything. His family kept asking what's our relationship all about and we both agree that we will keep the answer as secret. I guess they figure it out, kami naman nag eenjoy lang kaming kulitin silang lahat. They are too excited to know that the answer is "YES".lols Last night when we are chatting, kahit siya naman nag shopping sa isang mall which he will buy something for me, he told me that "I can't ask for any girl in my life, gusto ko ikaw nah" (I love him more when he told me that) waaaaaaaa wendang mode ang babae. I keep asking myself why can he loved me more even he knows everything about my situation? He even told me, "I cant blame you if you can find someone and you'll fall inlove with, malayo ako sa yo and maiitindihan ko" (wahuhuhuhu nakakaloka na yong mga lines niya). His messages gives me enough reason to hold on, and his voice gives me life everyday. He even told me, "I'll be home as early as I can, I will ask for 45 days leave enough to marry you..." napanganga ako... syet nah malagkit!!! paano nah!!! kasalan nah bah ito?NOoooooooooooo matter what I say, I will never say no to his proposal, pero pwede wag naman ganun kaaga... I am too scared of what might happen when I get married and then mawala lang siya because of my imperfections and kakulangan. Though he assured me that he thought about my situation and he is willing to accept it, hindi lang daw niya kaya mawala pa ako sa kanya, but I have my personal dilemmas pa rin. I hope things will continue this way. He even know how much I treasured kung anong meron kami. Ang daming nagtatanong who's the man behind "in a relationship" sa FB but I guess this time hindi ko nah kailangan ang sasabihin nang iba, Ikaw lang tama na. :)

When you told me " I love you" , I love you more to say "I love you too"

I'll be waiting!!!

Where do broken hearts go...

I never expected my friend to pop me up in FB saying " chang brent and I are over". I just said "huh? what happened?", she replied "don't mind asking". I felt that everything in my body intertwined and every pain I have suffered for almost a year ago is coming back reminding me, that a friend is suffering the same pain I have felt when I was lost because of love. I really want to go back to CDO just to see her, hug her, and just be with her even in silence. I know how painful it is to let go of someone so dear, someone who used to be your life, your friend, your partner. Someone who made you believed that everything is worth the risk and everything is not perfect but real. Someone who adores you and assured you that you are pretty in his eyes and no one can changed that. But why? why do people change of heart?, things are running smoothly in quite sometime, I am one of the witness how they grown up as lovers. They even shared the sweetest words that only lovers can endure. They even see the lofty degree of feeling that only a lover can define. But why do lover fall apart? why? why?

My friend told me "nakasabot naku sa imong buot ipasabot, it hurt, very much" hearing those words from her teared my heart again and I remembered how broken I was when I am in her situation. This saying ii so true "It's not the break up that hurts, its letting go". Letting go of all the tender caresses you have showered for each other, the promise of holding on even you don't know what tomorrow would offer, and allowing two minds to have a single thought -its "you and me". *sigh*... We ended our conversation with "just be strong, just keep going" she reply " I will even dili ko kablo aha mag sugod", enough to assure me that she will keep pushing herself to go on and move forward.

We chatted today when I was at work doing nothing. I ask her how was she and she admitted nothing changed, it hurts even more. Then as our conversation is on going we spotted the song where do broken hearts go? what a tremendous question in a situation where she can really relate. But the idea strikes me also, saan nga bah sila pumupunta? I started collecting my thoughts and then I realized broken hearts go to the loving arms of friends and family. They always keep their door open when you knock and says " I am bleeding, mend this broken heart". They can never heal you, but they will help you to appreciate the pain and find reasons to moved on. They never expire, they always care. The other place where broken hearts rest and suspend from everything is when we close our eyes and prepare our self to embrace our faith and say a little prayer.

To my friend, no one says it would be easy but everything has its own purpose. I can never tell what's that purpose might be, neither you. But one day you will know how you've change because of what had happen. We're always here and we will love you always. Remind yourself about that.