Every pain is real...

“I understand with love comes pain, but why did I have to love so much?”

Just last night miel and I spend time texting each other and we ask each other questions like "what if". "What if his ex-gf will come and beg him to be with her again?", I am too scared of what would be his answer (pero I am still confident that he will choice me...lols),when he told me that " makigbalik akong ex? never!!! wala na koy L sa iya,bahala maghikog siya" that line made me laugh even I am all alone at home. But when he ask me "what if imong ex-makigbalik?", I was stunned about the question and I remember the pain when my recent ex broke up with me. I never expect that question will bounce back to me, when all I know that time is I am too afraid that the Ex-gf of miel will intrude in our relationship ( I will kick her butt if she will attempt to do so). Back to the question "what if imong ex-makigbalik?", I honestly admit I love my ex and every time I remember how much I love him I remember the pain , but miel brought so much meaning to my life. He lift me up in everything I do, and his enough reason why I should stand still. Pero the question is "what if"... I realized that you never stop loving the person but you just accept the fact that every pain is real and every smile is a scar, and I learn to deal with it. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but all I know is that he hurt me so much (my ex) and I keep loving miel each day of my life. Miel is too far of being perfect but his imperfection drives me crazy. I admit I am happy of all the memories I have with my recent ex-bf, but miel and I is starting building our paradise together and I would be happy living in paradise with him.

For all those people who want to see us down, thank you for motivating us to be strong. Again, I don't have any assurance of what tomorrow will bring but miel and I love each other (I know that for sure) and we will give our best shot for this relationship to work-out.

boring hours while I am in major major OT

Wala lang akong maggawa as of now.. I am still waiting sa DBA na ma load yong DB namin. Haaayy okey lang binabayaran naman nila yong pag iinternet ko sa office :). I am a little bet confused this time. Just today I already received an appointment with Chartis HR which is scheduled next week, this is about my absorption. Yesterday when I am checking my emails I received an email from a japan base company offering me a very competitive job. I really like the offer and it's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I will be starting the company as Channel Manager in their 1st branch located here in Makati. They are expanding business thats why my knowledge and competitive skill is appropriate for the job opening (according to them). I am still thinking about all the offers right now and its kinda confusing :(... Chartis is giving me enough opportunity to grow professionally, but I don't want to miss the chance with the other company, If only I could have more me (sounds so greedy lols). Hay naku...bahala na si batman, if its for me its all up to me wahahahaahahha....

On the other hand, miel texted while ago, I hope he wont go home because he misses me.lols wawah ka kasi masyado text niya. I hope he will get used with the pain, I know how hard to it is. He even spend more of his time at the gym and sa work pero he can't deny it he misses home. kawawa naman ang bata. 11 months and 20 more days miel and you'll be home. I just realized that my ex BF are lucky enough to have me on their side when I commit with them. Di gaya ngayon we are too far and wishes to spend more time together, I guess this is life. Maybe everything will be worth the wait :)... I keep loving you more each day. Just hold on, will see each other soon. It gives me enough strength to wait for you every time you send me sms like "Please amping baya always,I Miss you so much, and I love you" .. hehehhehhe

On the 4th day...

"Can miles truly separate you from friends? If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there?"
4 days that we're not seeing each other, 4 days that i miss you. But your effort never change. You still woke me up in bed just to say your sweet goodnight (5 hours difference ba naman). You still ask me whats going on, and even 5 hours difference you still know what time should I ate my lunch and dinner because you knew I always missed it. I really loved the way your loving me. I always wanted to say "YES" when you ask me to be your GF but I guess I explained my part.Love is not enough to sustain the relationship, and I thank you for understanding. It's too hard holding a feeling that you always wanted to show, but I guess its for the two us. I am giving you enough time to think things over, you have one year miel to be sure about how you feel. People might say that maybe just maybe you are a rebound boyfriend. It made me think sometime, but how can you be a rebound if I know that I am happier this time. When I was away I bought this new book titled "will marry for food,sex and laundry" some pointers is on the book like "you will never kill a mans pride" or "ipaghugas mo siya nang pinggan wag lang ipaglaba" lols but you proved to me that hindi lahat nang nasa libro tama. When you are by my side you let me feel that your pride is NO longer important it was me that means to you. Laundry is not for women only, it's a task of a real macho. And grocery is not for girls, you can be trusted when you go out and buy things for kitchen nabili mu na lahat may sobra pa sa lista :). hehehheehehehe

I miss you but you don't let me miss you that much (winks)! I will be happy waiting for you. let just stay this way. Let love, patience and respect help us surpass this...

~chang~