dropping

Life has its ups and down for the 1st quarter of the year. I have my 2 weeks travel in US and I have so much fun though stress is with me (as always i think). After the trip my cool nephews and niece had a summer blast in Manila for about a month. At last! all family member experience airplane ride, thank you for the benefit Gohonzon. Kids loves Star City, Ocean Park and MOA. We all wish we can have more time with each other but sad to say that they need to go back to CDO for school and to their Dad. Nakakamiss sila.. One good thing happened to me is I got my new buddy, Elbow my little boy dog, he always makes things easier for me, we play we laugh and I talk to him most of the time. At least i was kabaliwan na rin. Also, as I send off the Kids to CDO we drop in Cebu for them to visit their relatives and I know my sister in law is happy seeing her sister and other friends. As out time in Cebu is almost done, i have second thought in going to CDO for a week vacation due to some misunderstanding with Mama. Mom posted a comment in facebook that i am not welcome in CDO, it breaks me honestly. She don't even know what she is saying but I was badly hurt of all the words she said. It wrecks the whole me. I find my Mom totally addicted with gambling and it ruins the family. I want to help her but he push us away in her life. I choice to be keep my peace just to keep the respect and avoid to say something stupid towards my Mom, I don't want to break her heart. I spend 1 whole week jumping from one place to another for me to have a place to sleep and I felt terrible inside. Thanks to my friends who let me felt that I am not alone, the reunion and party I attended is a blast which made me forget the stupid feeling i felt inside because of mama. Now that I am back here in Manila I dont have a sense of direction again, I dont even know why i still continue to live life with such a mess. I mess up again, I made mistakes and I need to start over. Life is really a battle. Whatever it takes i should be strong. Help me Gohonzon to get through this, give me wisdoms to understand what is happening, a strength so I can continue life, enough patience as I seek the answer and love that could feed me to stay alive.

~chang2x~