The Scar

Hey yah

I miss talking to you... it’s been a while and I never had a nerve of giving you updates of what’s happening in my life. It was three months ago that I was overwhelm with life and I thought that the feeling will never end. 3 months of memories I wish to do it over and over again. 3 months of laughter that until now I smile every time I reminisce. 3 months of happiness that I thought would last forever. But life never gives all you want but instead Life offers you everything. It was August 10, 2009 at 6:30 in the morning that I suffer abdominal pain;at first I thought it was just a simple and tolerable pain. I observed how my body responds with the pain and around 7:00pm I decided to go to the hospital. I walked to my mom’s house to ask her to assist me in my check up and she doesn’t hesitate to join me. To make the story short, I undergo 2 ultra sound in my abdomen at it was diagnosed I got “OVARIAN CYST”. It is 7.4 cm and need to be removed in my ovary. I have a brief discussion with my doctor she told me everything will be alright, later by that day I was scheduled at 6:30 pm for a surgical operation. I was surprise about my condition and I am in mixed emotion on the scenario that even in dreams I never thought would happen. I inform my close friends about my condition for me to have enough courage for the said surgical operation (they always makes me feel better). One by one they come over in the OBY-WARD where I am waiting for my medical team to fetch me up for my operation. My friends let me feel that I need to be back coz they will wait for my return. Their smile is enough to strengthen me to overcome the operation.

It was 6:30 that I am in my laboratory gown and sitting in wheelchair going to the operating room. Last words I heard from my precious friends is “kaya na nimo chang” enough to assure me that I can make it. When a nurse greeted me with smile and tried to put the head dress, I told myself then “I am all alone, & I will fight alone”. Nurses ask me to lie down on bed and another nurse asks me with different questions as part of the procedure. I saw every medical equipment that they will used for the operation and I felt very nervous but instead of showing the real emotion I have, I show them how tough I am even deep within me I wanted to run away and never come back. By then, it is in doctor’s hand my life is being entrusted. When the anesthesia is being injected to me I fell asleep. It was 9:30 that the nurse woke me up and told me the surgical operation is done and it is successful. I felt relieved by that time. Even everything in my body is numb. But the nurse told me go back to sleep if I want too and passionately I obeyed. It was 10:00 when I woke up again and I can move half of my body, by then they decided to transfer me on my room for my recovery. When I was transferred in my room I saw my friends and brother together with his wife waiting for my return. As the anesthesia subsides little by little I felt the pain and even I tried not to cry can’t hide the pain. I keep crying all night and my BF keep wiping the tears in my eyes. As long as I wanted too I don’t want my love-ones seeing me in pain I know it hurts them too. That first night is the most painful night of my life (Physically)- I can’t eat, I can’t drink ,I can’t even scream coz it will give me pain and I can’t even move coz it will really hurt me that much. My friends are wide awake by that time coz every time I open my eyes they are their asking what I want. I was too worried about them for not having enough sleep because of me.

2^nd day till the 5^th day is good, I tried everything to stand up and walk. I want to recover as fast as I can so that I won’t be a burden to anybody. 5^th day is disappointing, I need to contact all my friends to help me discharge from the hospital. My family doesn’t give DAMN helping me financially. Again I was too thankful of all the friends I have for the support and help they gave me, at exactly 3:00pm I am out of the hospital. With all the suffering I encounter I know I will be mature enough to continue life. When I am at home I always kept telling myself that I am a warrior willing to face the battle again. I will start life again and I will treasure the people whom hold my hand when I really wanted to give up. When my doctor told me that I must bear a child as soon as possible because of the weak fallopian tube and left ovary I got, I cried over with the said truth asking myself,” why and why me? “Of all the people on earth am I brave enough to accept this fact? Facing reality is too hard but life left me with no choice but to accept that there’ s a reason behind all this circumstances. “Life never ends with a scar in my tummy but it's a proof that a warrior will rise and conquer”- no such illness can overcome me.